My favorite, not penned by me:
She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida – the pink ones, not the white ones – except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn’t wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren’t. -Eric Rice
this, as I decided to end this foolishness and await my 53rd birthday which haphazardly follows at the tail end of this foolishly inaugurated month.
From Scott Rice who runs the contest: "Your submission has arrived and will receive the treatment it deserves."